


The Darkness Tainting My Mind

by boobsmckenzi



Category: The Legend of Zelda & Related Fandoms, The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time
Genre: I probably forgot some characters, I slipped in some memes/outside references, M/M, One-Sided Sheik/Link
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-02-16 08:54:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18688225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boobsmckenzi/pseuds/boobsmckenzi
Summary: Link is trying to save Hyrule, but with a twist. Link is unlike most before! Follow his adventure as he goes through all means of horror, all while falling in love. (Sorry, I suck at writing summaries)





	1. The Temple of Time

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This has been cross-posted on Deviantart and Wattpad by the lovely Pocket Mochi97! She helped contribute a lot (by writing all of the lemon scenes), so please go and check out her works. (ˆˆ)

“Link. It is time for you to awaken,” came an old geezer’s voice. I groaned and ignored the voice, refusing to awaken from my peaceful slumber. “Link. You need to wake up and save Hyrule now that you are old enough to wield the Master Sword.”

Irritated, I opened my eyes and looked at the spacious blue hexagonal area around me. “Who are you and what do you want?” I demanded.

“Link. You must go and free the other sages, each locked within their respective temples,” the geezer, with extremely large robes and the worst mustache ever, replied.

“You didn’t answer my other question.” I huffed.

“I am Rauru, the Sage of Light. Here, have this Medallion of Light. I, also, gave you new clothes while you were sleeping.”

Raising a brow, I touched my new clothes and noticed that my ears felt strangely heavy. Reaching up, I felt the two small hoop earrings dangling from my earlobes. “Dude, you gave me piercings.”

“Yeah, so?”

“You gave me piercings, without my consent. Just… where are we and how do I get the hell out?”

“You’re in The Chamber of Sages.”

“Ok? And how do I get out?”

“Through the door directly behind you.”

As I turned around, I looked for a good five seconds to realize there was no door. “Quit lying. Where is it?”

“It’s there, it just blends in really well with the walls.”

As I walked over to the wall, lightly pushing on it, it caved slightly and popped out of its initial spot. “Good luck on your journey, Link.” There was a light squeeze on my right buttcheek, but it was gone as quickly as it had happened.

A bright light surrounded me as I walked through the door then finding myself back in the Temple of Time. I looked around then examined the Master Sword in my left hand before placing it in its sheath. As I went to leave, I felt a presence behind me, making me stop in my tracks before turning around to find the owner of the voice.

“Hello, Link: The Hero of Time,” a young man, with a cowl covering the lower half his face, greeted me from the side of the sword's pedestal.

“Who are you?” I defensively grabbed the hilt of my sword.

“I am Sheik, the last of the Sheikah Clan. I am here to help lead you in your quest.” He introduced himself before pulling out a lyre. “Pull out your ocarina and learn this tune.” He instructed before gently plucking the strings with his bandage wrapped fingers. I played the melody after him, feeling a strange source of magic within the notes.

“Good. That was the Prelude of Light. By playing this song, you can warp here at any time. Go to the Graveyard in Kakariko Village. There, you will find something helpful in your quest.” He said as he pulled out a deku nut. 

“Wait! I--”

He snapped it down before I could finish my question and I was temporarily blinded. The light cleared within a few mere seconds and he was nowhere to be seen.

“... I guess that my only choice is to leave and free the sages.” I let out a heavy sigh and walked out of the room as Navi gently floated out from under my hat.

“Wow, Link! You look so much older and more mature, now!”

“Thanks, Navi,” I gave her a small smile as I walked down the main corridor of the Temple of Time.

“I wonder what Hyrule will look like, now that seven years have passed,” she circled around my entire body, trying to get a better look.

I gave a simple nod, “I’m curious as well. I hope that nothing too drastic has happened…”

“I bet that nothing too bad hap--” she abruptly stopped talking when I opened the front door. The sky was a depressing maroon colour with grey smokey clouds covering the sky. “Never mind. I think something has gone horribly wrong while we were gone,” she said as her bright blue glow turned, instead, to a very pale blue.

“Do you want to go back in time?”

“We’re going to have to do this eventually…”

“Alright…” I took a deep breath and stepped outside, closing the door behind me before tasting a sudden blast of foul air. It was like a mixture of smoke and acid; it felt like it was burning my eyes, throat, and lungs. I doubled over, coughing, trying to get the putrid air out of my body. However, no matter how much I coughed, it would only get worse. I crumbled to the ground, still coughing up a storm.

“Hey, Link? Are you okay?” Navi asked, concern prevalent in her voice.

“I’m… fine…” I let out between coughs. I regretted saying that as my body decided that now was the perfect moment to empty out the contents of my stomach. After which, my body wouldn’t stop shaking. There were black spots plaguing my vision and voices relentlessly berating my very existence.

“Please stop… that’s not true… I didn’t abandon you, I didn’t kill the Great Deku Tree,” my whispering grew into chanting and escalated into deranged screaming and shouting.

“Link!” Navi’s voice didn’t help. “I have to go get help! Link! Please wait here while I go get help.” It was hard to keep myself from flinging myself onto a bush and start cuddling it in hopes that it would comfort me.

It seemed like hours had gone by, but only mere minutes had passed. “Link?” Sheik called out in uncertainty. My chest, still wheezing, and body, still shaking, whipped in his direction. I almost instantaneously relaxed and flung myself onto him, clinging desperately for comfort and letting tears of fear roll down my cheeks.“Is something wrong?” he asked, obviously unsure of what was wrong.

“Just… hold me… I’m scared…” I pressed my face into his chest.

“Okay, just this once,” he sighed, sitting down and wrapping his arms around me. I felt my body gradually stop shaking and my eyelids begin to droop. It didn’t matter where I was, I was safe for now.

I woke up the next morning to find Sheik gone and myself laying on the cold ground. I sat up and felt my stomach rumble. I checked my inventory to see if there was anything that I could possibly eat or drink. My slingshot, shield, deku nuts, and magic beans had all rotted. There was only one thing that hadn’t gone bad: the milk. I was, quite honestly, perplexed, but shrugged it off and chugged half of the bottle of milk. I stood to my feet and left the area around the temple and simple stared at the devastated Castle Town, now inhabited by ReDeads. “Great…” I shuddered and face-palmed as I tried to get past all of the ReDeads as quickly as possible.

I almost got all of the way through when there came a horrifying screech, sending chills so bad that I completely froze in place. It wasn’t close enough to latch onto me, but it sure as hell was close enough to spot me. Even once I got my movement back, I wouldn't let myself move from my spot; the redead got closer. I felt my heart rate accelerate to a critical pace. Adrenaline coursed through my veins and the redead let out another screech. I wanted to scream for help, but my voice wouldn't come out. It climbed onto my back and wrapped its arms and legs around me and the others started to approach me. I finally screamed.

I got out of the town square and left Castle Town and Entered Hyrule Field. I stepped around the broken drawbridge and the moat. I took another deep breath of the, slightly cleaner, air. I, tired and sore, turned towards the Death Mountain region of Hyrule and begun my long, very long, trek towards Kakariko Village.

I was about half-way there and decided to take a break. I sat down on the grass, despite how much my body complained about any and all forms of movement, and drank the last of my milk. I took a good look around Hyrule and noticed that almost everything looked the same. I let out a rather hefty sigh.

“Why was I chosen by the goddess to do this? They could have chosen anyone to go through the… the…” I shuddered, “the unspeakable things that I’ve been through, but they chose to have a child save an entire kingdom…. I wonder if they understanding exactly how jarring and scarring of an experience this is?”

I pondered my question for a bit, “Probably not, they’re goddesses. After all, I’d bet that they’ve been living the good life for so long that they’ve forgotten these types of experiences.” I gently pulled my knees up to my chest. “Am I the only one meant to suffer this fate? Am I supposed to be all alone, forever?”

“But Link, I’m here for you!” Navi chimed.

“Once this is done, you’ll leave me, right?”

“Link… I wouldn’t leave your side unless I’m forced to.”

I gave her a small melancholy smile, “Thanks, Navi. I feel so much better now.” I didn’t feel any better, I actually felt worse than before. I just hoped that something will kill me because I don’t have the courage to take my own life.

I stood to my feet and walked the rest of the way there while slightly dragging my feet. It went completely unnoticed by her. As I climbed the staircase to the village, I noticed the sun starting to set over the horizon. I felt utterly exhausted despite the fact that I literally slept for seven years in the Temple of Time, not to mention I had an asthma attack and passed out almost instantly the minute I stepped outside, but I decided that I had to keep going. Walking through the village's main gate, I looked around and saw that nothing had changed except for the archery building near the old well. I walked to the Inn and entered, my stomach growling from lack of substance; or because the milk I drank had actually gone bad.

“Hello, mister. Are you staying the night?” The lady at the front desk flirted.

“Where would you say is the best place to grab a bite to eat?” I casually leaned against the counter.

“I… uh… the tavern…” she was as red as the lava in Death Mountain.

“Thank you.” I left the Inn feeling as if I had just unintentionally caused something horrible to happen.

The tavern wasn't very far from the inn. I entered the establishment and sat down at the bar. I looked up at the menu board as the bartender came to stand in front of me. “What can I get for you, lad?”

“I'll take the house speciality and a Château Romani.”

“Alrighty, that's going to 135 rupees.”

I pulled out my gigantic wallet and visibly blanched when I realized that I didn't have enough rupees. “He's on me.” Came a slightly deeper voice to my right. I turned to see a man completely cloaked in black with piercing ruby eyes. The man put down a large amount of rupees on the bar. The bartender left to fulfil our order.

“Thank you, sir.”

“It was no problem.” He slung his arm over my shoulder. “So what are you doing after this?”

I shifted uncomfortably under his arm and gave. “I'm looking for something.”

“What are you looking for?” He leaned in even closer.

“I'm… not exactly sure…”

“How about I help you search for it?” He wiggled his brows a little.

“T-Thanks?”

Our food came out and I quickly dug in, hoping to finish before the other man could, so that I could get away from him.

I finished my meal and noticed that he was waiting for me to finish. “Shall we get going?”

“S-Sure…” I followed him out of the tavern, through the town and to the graveyard.

“It is said that the old grave keeper had an amazing treasure and that if you enter his grave; you will get his treasure, but only if you complete his challenge.”

Chills ran down my spine. “And what happens if you don’t complete it?”

“No one knows, because no one has ever come back.”

I shuddered, “Could you, legitimately, help me out?”

“Why wouldn’t I?” I noticed a slight smirk to his covered expression.

“You don’t seem like the most trustworthy person!” Navi chimed as she flew out from under my hat and started to repeatedly beat his head that had no effect on him.

The man glared at her. “It seems like Navi doesn’t like you and I know that she would raise hell if you came along. I’m sorry.”

He looked just about ready to kill the blue fairy slamming against his head. “That’s ok, but could you get your fairy to stop attacking me?”

I simply grabbed her and shoved her back under my hat, despite her continuous complaints. “So… which grave is it?”

“The one we’re standing directly in front of.”

“Oh…” I pulled the gravestone back and hopped inside. I gently landed in a grey stone area. The walls, floor, and even the ceiling were carved stone. In the center was a raised platform of grey blocks and intricately cut columns of stone. There floated Dampé with his lantern and a halo over his head.

He said, “Heh heh heh, young man! Are you fast on your feet? I may not look like it, but I’m confident in my speed! Let’s have a race! Follow me if you dare!” The spirit dashed down the first corridor and dropped a red hot flame less than a third of the way.

I carefully dodged out of the way of the flame and continued my chase. He turned right, then left, all while plopping fire onto the ground. We passed by two podiums with magenta flames resting on top of them. He made another left. Right. Left. Left. Right. We just kept going and going. I felt like we had been going in circles as he made two more rights and a left. We entered a room with stalagmites. Passing in between the two to my right and continuing through a hole in the way, guess what, to the right. Left, right and another set of magenta flames. But this time, something different happened, there was a room with two magenta flames! We went through the centre and didn’t really. Another right. Another left. At the next left, I climbed up a short wall and continued my pursuit. Another right and another left and I was lead into a room with a spiral ramp going up the left side of the wall. I dashed and rolled into the room after Dampé right before the door closed; all in under a minute and ten seconds! I walked up onto the platform, sore and panting, in front of me that had two torches on it.

“Hehehe, young man… You were very quick to be able to keep up with me! Hehehe! As a reward, I’m going to give you my treasure. It’s called the Hookshot! Its spring-loaded chain will pull you to any spot where its hook sticks. Doesn’t that sound cool? I’m sure it will help you! I live here now, so come back again sometime. I’ll give you something cool! One more thing! Be careful on your way back! Heheheh…” He said as he disappeared and a chest appeared in the centre of the room.

“I think I need to get a mental health check-up once this whole ordeal is done and over with… I don’t think that anyone in their right mind could imagine chasing a dead grave keeper who is simultaneously throwing fire in their face...” I mumbled as I pulled the hookshot out of the chest and shoved it inside my magic adventuring pouch. I went to exit through the area in front of me.

“Hey! Link!” Navi said as she flew out of my cap and started to glow green in front of the block, “I think that you need to play the Song of Time in order to get rid of this block.”

I was too tired to even bother arguing with her and just did as she said. I pulled out my ocarina and played the Song of Time. The block disappeared… how surprising…. I climbed up the mini-wall and up the flight of stairs. I entered the windmill and the annoying music grated against my ears. I hopped down from the level I was on and walked out, slamming the door behind me. I walked into the inn, got a room, entered the room, dropped my gear beside the bed, flopped (more like face-planted half-way) onto the bed, and fell asleep.


	2. Forest Temple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again, this was all thanks to the lovely Pocket Mochi97! This has been crossposted on deviantart.

When I woke up the next morning, I immediately felt refreshed and energized. Sitting up on the rented bed, I stretched my limbs before getting up and putting my equipment back on. Checking my wallet, I realized that I had at least 250 rupees that weren't there yesterday. Perplexed as I was, I didn't give it much thought. Putting my hat on, I walked to the inn's counter and ordered some milk since I wasn't hungry. After handing the bartender a yellow rupee, I downed the cold, white liquid, feeling its coolness go down my throat. Once it was all gone, I thanked the bartender before heading out of the inn, making my way to the village's entrance. As we passed the gate entrance, we made our way down the stone stairs and entered Hyrule Field. Once my booted feet made contact with the soft soil, I brought out my map of Hyrule to mark our location.

“So, where to now, Navi?” I asked, watching her come out of my hat as she flew around my head.

“Sheik didn't give us any information on that part, so I'm not sure. I wish we could talk to Saria, she might give us some clues,” Navi said in a slightly sad tone.

“We can talk to Saria! She taught us her song remember?” I smiled while pulling out the blue ocarina from my item pouch. As I placed the royal blue instrument between my lips, I blew into it while moving my fingers to play the right notes. After I finished, I was able to hear Saria's voice ringing in my ears.

“Link? Is that you?” Saria spoke.

“Yeah, it's me,” I smiled even though I knew she couldn't see it.

“It's so great to hear from you! Listen. The forest spirits were calling to me, asking for help. I went to the Forest Temple inside Lost Woods but there's a lot of monsters here. Please come help!” she pleaded as the communication ended.

“Looks like we're going to the Lost Woods. But it'll take forever to get there by foot from our location,” Navi explained.

I groaned as she did make a point. The entrance to Kokiri Forest was a long walk from Kakariko Village’s entrance. Looking up, I saw Lon Lon Ranch from a distance before remembering a certain horse farming girl. “Why not see if we can borrow a horse from Malon? Horseback would make traveling around Hyrule much faster,” I smiled.

“Great idea! Let's go!” Navi dinged with excitement.

As we made our way to the ranch with no problems at all, we soon walked up the hill that led us inside the ranch’s walls. Walking pass the farmer's house and the cow stables, I caught sight of the corral. My smile soon faded into a frown as I noticed that the gates had a man's face on them and saw that all of the horses were caged within the wooden corral. There, stood a man guarding the locked gate; his face the same as the ones on the gates. Walking over to the man, I remembered he was one of the farmers that worked for Talon seven years ago.

The second I approached him, he immediately began to have an attitude and started to vent. “There are some people in Kakariko spreading rumors that I cheated Talon out of the ranch, but… Don't be ridiculous! That guy Talon was weak! I, the hardworking Ingo, poured so much energy into this place! I don't want any strangers like you talking bad about me!”

I went to open my mouth to speak, but apparently he wasn't finished. “Listen. The great Ganondorf recognized my obvious talents and gave the ranch to me! I will raise a fine horse and win recognition from the great Ganondorf!” he exclaimed.

“Um...alright….” I spoke slowly, acting like I was clueless of the whole situation. Surprisingly, it worked as he had a fake smile to me.

“Say, young man, do you want to ride one of my fine horses? If you pay me 10 rupees, you can ride for one minute.” Ingo offered.

I wasn't too keen on having to pay for a one minute horse ride, but seeing a familiar brown horse through the corral's fence, I gave a smile before reaching in my wallet. As I pulled out a yellow rupee, Ingo explained how to mount a horse before opening the gates. Walking in, he instantly shut the metal bars and started my one minute timer. Pulling out my ocarina, I played the song Malon taught me before hearing a familiar sound. Seeing a brown horse with a short white mane and white patches along her hooves, I smiled when she was an arms length away; chuckling at the feeling of her nipping at my hair. Walking up to her right side, I slid my foot through the stirrup and mounted onto her back. Once I situated myself to where I was comfortable, I clicked my tongue while lightly tapping her sides with my heels to make her go after making sure Navi was in my hat so she wouldn't fall behind.

As I rode around, I paid no attention to the time limit I was given as Epona and I were bonding as if we were very close pals. All of a sudden a whistle was blown, making me look towards Ingo while he placed his hands on his hips. “Alright! You rode long enough!”

I gave an irritated sigh before riding up to the gateway and dismounting Epona. Once I was out, he had shut the gate once more. Grumbling, I reached into my wallet and pulled out two blue rupees. “Let me ride again.” I, somewhat, demanded.

“Alright. Fine. You have one minute,” he smirked behind his overgrown mustache as he reopened the gate to let me in. I instantly mounted Epona as she was still by the gate. About to ride off, Ingo caught my attention.

“You're getting better! How about a little race with me? One lap around the corral with that horse.” he grinned.

“Sure. Why not?”

“Let's make a little wager - say 50 rupees?”

“You're on.”

As I gave him a purple rupee, we both lined up at the starting point, we waited three seconds before making our horses go. I swore the man was being too rough on his horse as it was trying its best to go as fast as it could; just to beat me. As I gradually had Epona speed up, I managed to pass the finish line first with Ingo right on my tail. The second he jumped off his horse, his hands started to grab what little hair he had on his head and pulled it out of frustration; basically having a temper tantrum like a 3 year old.

“Sh-Shoooot!” he exclaimed. “If the great Ganondorf found out about this humiliation… Hey, you! How about another race? If you win...you can keep...the horse!”

As I gladly accepted the challenge, we both got our horses ready to begin the second race. As the race started, I noticed how Ingo was so desperate to win as he was pushing his horse harder than before. Shaking my head in disappointment, I kept my focus on the race while making sure he couldn't pass us. As I passed the finish line first, the man's face grew red in pure anger and jumped off his horse; having a, yet another, temper tantrum.

“What's up with that horse?! Is that Epona? How did you tame that wild horse right under my nose?! I was going to present that horse to the great Ganondorf… But I bet it on the race and lost! Shoooooot!” he exclaimed. A quiet chuckle escaped my lips as I watched him stomp his foot angrily. Once he got his composure back, he looked up at me confidently as he crossed his arms with a laugh, which I raised a brow at.

“Hah ha hah! As I promised. I'll give the horse to you… However! I'll never let you leave this ranch!” he said with a smirk before walking to the gate entrance and locking them shut.

My eye gave a twitch before looking around the ranch. I sighed deeply, which got Navi's attention while she flew out of my hat. “What's wrong, Link?”

“I have to get out of this ranch, but Mr. Big Nose locked us in!” I complained with a glare towards said man. While I was sulking, Navi managed to get a view of the ranch before flying in front of my face.

“Link! I know how you can get out!” she stated.

“You do? How?”

“Just jump that fence over there. You'll be in Hyrule Field within seconds.” she said as she gestured towards the fence that was on my right. Soon a smirk etched itself across my lips as Navi flew under my hat once again. Making Epona gallop as fast as she could, we headed toward the fence head on before she jumped; successfully getting us out of the ranch and into the field. As i noticed the sun going down, I made my steed head towards the Kokiri forest entrance; getting there in no time at all. As soon as we got there, I got off of Epona and stroked her nose before heading through the familiar tunnel and across the bridge.

The second I entered Kokiri forest, I immediately frowned at how badly it has changed. Huge deku baba's and several deku scrubs had made themselves at home in this sacred place. Pulling out my sword and shield, I slashed at them and deflected their attacks in order to kill them. Once I had taken care of the last deku scrub, I started to make my way up the small path to Lost woods. Stepping through the small tunnel, a familiar song reached my ears throughout the mazed forest. As I listened, I tried to go through using the same method I used back when I was a child and ended up right back at the start. Confused, I tried again. Then it hit me: I can’t hear the difference anymore because I'm not a child anymore. I carefully looked through the tunnels and eventually found the right way until I came across a Kokiri boy who was blocking one of the tunnels. Mido.

I internally groaned about how completely stubborn this brat is, especially with how close he wants to be with Saria, yet he will never seem to realize why he was never one of her favorites. Once I approached him, he raised a hand towards me while the other was placed on his hip.

“Who do you think you are? That Kokiri-like clothing won't fool me. I promised Saria I would never let anybody go through here.”

“But I need to see her,” I, somewhat, argued.

“If you want to see Saria that bad, I'm gonna need some proof that you're really a friend of hers! Something you could have only heard from her.”

I thought about what he meant by ‘something I could have only heard from her’ until I remembered her song. As I pulled out the Ocarina of Time from my item bag, I placed it to my lips and began to play Saria's special song. When I finished, I placed the small wind instrument back in my pouch before looking down at Mido. whose face was in complete shock.

“That melody?! Saria plays that song all the time! You… Do you know Saria? Saria taught that song only to her friends…”

“Believe it or not, I am a friend of hers.”

“Ok, I trust you!”

“Thanks,” I smiled.

“When I see you… I don't know why, but I remember...him…” he muttered before moving away from the tunnel and sat on the grass.

As I walked passed him, Navi came out of my hat and looked back towards Mido before sitting on my shoulder. “Why didn't you tell him that you're Link?”

“Because it was for the best. When this quest is over, I'll come back, but as a friend,” I gave a slight smile.

Carefully making sure I don't go through the wrong tunnel, we eventually got out of Lost Woods and into the Sacred Forest Meadow. As I walked towards the maze, loud thumps of footsteps were heard; slightly shaking the ground. 

“Link. Be careful. There are enemies around these sharp corners. Try sneaking behind them when they're not looking,” Navi warned as she turned yellow.

“Thanks,” I nodded before carefully peeking around the maze entrance to see a huge moblin with a long spear in its grasp. I watched it look around before it had turned its back to me. Pulling out my sword, I lunged forward and quickly killed it as I slashed its back. The monster fell as it died, surprisingly leaving behind a good few rupees. Picking them up, I placed them in my wallet before continuing through the maze while killing the rest of them. When I finally made it to the staircase, my face turned slightly pale at the gigantic moblin that was blocking the way. The minute it spotted me, it swung its club to the ground and caused a blast of rocks and dirt my way. I grunted when the blast caught me and pushed me back to the ground; coughing as I waved my hand to rid the dust away as I stood up. Bursting out into a sprint, I ran towards the moblin while dodging its harsh blows before slashing at the monsters legs to make it kneel. Once it was down, I stabbed my blade through its heart, instantly killing it as it left behind twice as many rupees than the smaller ones. Placing it in my wallet, I headed to the spot where I last saw Saria. Seeing the same hexagonal stone, that was also in the Temple of time, I walked over it and to the spot where Saria usually sat when we, or I, was younger. Once I approached the empty tree slab, I frowned in worry before hearing a soft thump to my left. Looking towards it, I saw Sheik making his way over to me.

“The flow of time is always cruel… Its speed seems different for each person, but no one can change it…” he said. “A thing that doesn't change with time is a memory of younger days… In order to come back here, play the Minuet of Forest.”

As he said that, he pulled out his harp and plucked the strings with his fingers to play the instructed tune. Following along with my ocarina, we played together as I felt magic within the song, just like before. Once we were done, he put his harp away before stepping back a few feet. “Link… I'll see you again…”

“Sheik wait-!”

But I was too late as he threw a deku nut to momentarily blind me as he made his leave. I gave a sigh before looking at Navi while switching my instrument for the hookshot. “Let's go save Saria.”

“Right!” she beamed.

As I aimed my hookshot at the tree branch above the temple's entrance, it fired, attaching to the hardwood, and pulled me up. I landed on my feet and placed the mechanism back in my pocket before, letting out a deep breath, and walking through the ancient looking walkway.

As I entered the Forest Temple, I realised something: there are a lot of things I don’t like. For example: Mido and redeads; both for completely different reasons. Mido because he’s always been a jerk, always will be a jerk, and was also the highly probable reason as to why I couldn’t save the Great Deku Tree. While with redeads… well… that’s a story for a different time.

I stepped towards the door in front of me. Two wolfos leapt out of nowhere. I successfully killed one of them without a single scratch. The other one, however, slashed right across my face. Nonetheless, I killed it as my blood dripped down my face. “I haven’t even gotten past the first room and I’m already injured,” I sighed. I aimed my Hookshot at the vines on the wall to the right of where I had entered. As the hookshot anchored onto the vines and pulled me at towards them, I reached out with my other hand and grabbed the vines once they were close enough. I climbed onto top of the questionable looking tree and went over to the chest on the tree opposite of it. I opened it and duh duh duh DUUUUUH! I got a small key! Why am I even celebrating something so stupid? I let out a heavy sigh, “I think I should see a psychiatrist sooner rather than later…”

“But, Link! You’re perfectly fine!” Navi tried to let out a comforting chime.

“Sure, of course I’m fine. It’s not like I had the most ridiculously scarring and irritatingly miserable childhood ever, pulled a legendary sword from a pedestal, slept for seven years, woke up in a weird room with a tacky pedophile, met a Sheikah dude who looks like Zelda with red eyes, had an asthma attack the instant I stepped out of the Temple of Time, re-experienced what scarred me during my childhood, chased a dead gravekeeper through his grave as he chucked fire at me, got locked inside a ranch, and found my sacred childhood home completely defiled by monsters. Yeah, I’m totally fine,” I sarcastically said straight to her face.”

“... What scarred you, again?” She looked at me, seeming to have completely forgotten.

“One word: ReDeads.”

I continued through the door in front of me as she let out a confused ding. “I don’t understand what’s so scarring about that.”

I glared at her, “You think that seeing naked reanimated corpses slowly coming towards you while screaming and then proceeding to use you to fulfill their fleshly desires is not going to be jarring to a child?”

“...Sorry…”

“Whatever,” I rolled my eyes. I easily killed the skulltula, hanging from the ceiling, with my hookshot and simply walked through. “Let’s just get this done and over with,” the irritation evident in my voice.

“Just don’t try to rush things or else you’ll get lost and be here longer than you have to,” Navi warned.

“Navi, I think I learned that the first time through,” I tried to tell her calmly.

“Now, Link, you need to calm down.”

“How about you shut up and get in the hat before I decide to turn you into a blue potion,” I threatened, my left eye twitching.

“...okay…” she meekly replied as she slipped under my hat. The room I had entered was a non-congruent hexagon with a square area in the center. It had four different flames and, what looked like, a magic platform. I walked further into the room and four different Poes appeared and took each flame and simply disappeared.

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!” I angrily grabbed my hair and pulled on it. “I will kill those bastards, or bitches, for making this way harder than it had to be!” I stomped through the room and into the next one. I immediately killed the bubble and went straight into the next room. Bars slid over the door as the door closed as two stalfos spawned. “You have got to be shitting me.”

I killed the two stalfos with very few injuries. “Hey, Link. Maybe you should watch your language,” she gave a useless recommendation.

“Looks like I have a blue potion now.”  
“Ah!! I’m sorry!” she cried, burying herself in my hair.

“Ugh… I’ll kill those damn Poes first, then it’ll be your turn,” I growled. I opened the chest in the center of the area as the bars on the door raised. “Another small key… fuck my life--actually, no, please don’t fuck my life.”

I returned to the main room and directly turned to my right and played the Song of Time to get rid of the, what I now call, Time Shit. I entered through the door that was hidden behind it and entered it; slaying the giant Deku Baba before I turned to the vines on my right and killing the skulltulas with my Hookshot then entering the door that was above them. The doors barred behind me, again. Killed a bubble and we get a dungeon map from a chest and the bars lifted off of both doors and we just kept going and we just kept going and we just kept going. If it wasn’t very obvious, I am quite bored. I sat down on the floor and yawned, “How long is this temple? It’s more boring than the others. At least last time I had a sense of urgency so that I wouldn’t get digested.” I shuddered at the memory of being inside of Lord Jabu Jabu's belly. “I regret everything I did in order to get the Zora’s Sapphire.”

Navi let out a snide remark, “I regret the fact that we ever even started this journey.”

“For once, Navi, I agree with you.”

She let out a surprised ding, “Really?!”

“Yeah. If you were less annoying, then I’d probably agree with you more often.”

“What! How dare you!” She bopped against my head.

“Well, maybe I should truly consider turning you into a blue potion; you’d probably be more useful in that form.”

Her glowed turned a pure white. “You wouldn’t do that, right? You’re just joking… right?”

“Mm… blue potion…” I said, in a dream-like state.

“Link! You know that I’m never gonna give you up; never gonna let you down. I’m never gonna run around and desert you. I’m never gonna make you cry; never gonna say goodbye. I’m never gonna tell a lie and hurt you.” Navi ranted at me in an odd rhythm.

“Whatever. I want to go fight the miniboss.”

“What if there is no miniboss?”

“There’s always a miniboss.”

“Why do you think that?”

“That’s what always happens in dungeons and temples.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, blame the three golden goddesses and Hylia.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I never understood either; I just accepted it as fact.” I stood up and started to delve deeper into the temple, “Let’s go.”

After a while of going through doors that needed a key and a twisted corridor that really boggled my mind. I went down a flight of stairs and into a room where, whoopty fucking doo, bars came down and blocked my only way out. A stalfos came out of thin air over the pit in the center of the room. Deciding to not take my chances with that being an invisible floor, I just stayed at the edges of the room. I defeated the stalfos with a lot more injuries than usual. The center area of the room cae down from the ceiling and guess what happened. Two stalfos. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think that this was a Stalfos breeding ground,” I snickered as I, slowly, defeated the two Stalfos. A large chest appeared in the center of the room. Duh duh duh DUUUUUH! I got the fairy bow. “This temple should be so much easier now that I have it!” I looked further inside the chest. “I’s great and all to have a bow, but it’s kind of useless if there are no arrows to go along with it…"


	3. Arrows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link raging and Link going on an epic quest of epicness that would be horribly spoiled if I wrote a legitimate summary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, as I have said before, this wouldn't have been possible without the wonderful Pocket Mochi97!! (ˆˆ) She has this posted on her DeviantArt account and her Wattpad account. I will also have this posted on my FanFiction.net account.

I let out a really heavy sigh as I hit my head against a wall. “Why do I always get the short end of the deku stick?”

“I don’t know, but you should finish this so that we can save Saria,” Navi advised

“Does it seem like I really care about that at the moment?” I glared at her.

“... No…?”

“Ding, ding, ding. That’s correct. Guess what you win.”

“Uh… I’m not sure… what is it?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely nothing.”

“Link… are you going to quit or not?”

“I’ll quit when I can get someone or something decent enough to kill me.” I hit my head against the wall again.

“... Link…” Navi, for the first time ever, let out a sad sigh and slipped under my hat without any complaints.

I decided that hitting my head 22 times against a wall was enough times for me to leave the room and continue solving the puzzles… and to get some damn arrows. I backtracked into a few rooms and defeated an enemy which dropped one arrow. Using my new item, I aimed and hit the eye… thing… I’ll just call it an Eyewall. It closed and I check the twisted corridor to find that it was now straight. I walked around and spotted a giant blue and gold chest in the room and hopped down to open it. Duh duh duh DUUUUUH! I, finally, got the boss key. I dropped down into the next room, killed a couple of bubbles and continued through the door. I continued going forward and almost didn’t notice the door to my right. I entered to find… what hell did I even find? “Uh… Navi… what the hell is that thing.” I pointed at it.

“That’s a Floormaster. It likes to suck magic out of other beings and, when defeated, will divide into three smaller ones that will need to be quickly defeated in order to truly defeat it.”

“Hylian, please.”

“If you hit it enough, it divides and then you can, officially, kill it. You then have to kill it quickly or else they will grow into full sized ones,” she said as she, probably, rolled her eyes.

“Thank you,” I said as I started to attack it. It rose into the air while glowing green, ready to attack. I slashed at it a few times and it split into three smaller entities. Each of the small ones died with a single hit from the Master Sword.

A chest appeared in the room in a flurry of magic that looked a lot like dying fairies. I opened the small fugly wooden chest to find another small key. “What’s with this place and small keys?” I asked myself as I left through the, recently, unbarred door. I continued through the door that I had originally been planning to go through. There was laid the room that I had done two block puzzles in. I looked around the room and noticed a golden Eyewall, unlike the silver one I had found earlier, and shot it with an arrow from my bow. Luckily, it hit on the first try. It quickly shut and a chest fell out of the air and landed on a platform deeper inside the room. I went directly to the chest and Hookshot to it. I opened it to find enough arrows to fill my entire quiver, plus some.

“I am seriously starting to question the logic of this world,” I asked no one in particular.

“I don’t recommend that you do that,” Navi pointed out.

“Why?”

“The balance of Time and Space is already fragile enough. Questioning it might cause a rip in the Space-Time Continuum.”

“The what?”

“Oh, forget it,” Navi gave an exasperated sigh.

I shrugged my shoulders and continued walking through the dungeon to go ahead and defeat those Poes. I went through, shooting the paintings, defeating those… I should really hold my tongue…. Anyways, I got the flames relit and more small keys, had even more fun with twisted corridors and life sucking fluid. I just hope that there are no more temples with falling ceilings.

"Now it's a block puzzle. I swear that this place was never sacred and was made to be a--nevermind, not saying that." Another Poe defeated, another boring section of a temple to get through.

"I stand corrected, I'm back in the main room with a Poe that's really bad at pretending to cry," I corrected myself. "Now that I really think about it, did I ever get the dungeon map or the compass?" I stood still for a good minute. "I don't think I did. It doesn't matter though, they're pretty much useless."

I quickly defeated the final Poe of the temple, at least I hope that it was the last. The platform rose up out of the floor. I got on it and it took me to a level below. "Now, a rotating room puzzle. At least the dungeons that I had to go through as a child were slightly more entertaining." I solved the puzzle after messing up five times. I walked up to the door with a huge-ass lock on it.

"Are you ready to do this, Link?" Navi looked at me, slightly concerned.

"Yeah. I think that I'm about as ready as when I first encountered redeads."

"Um… weren't you not prepared at all for that?"

"Precisely."

"If you're not prepared, then I don't suggest doing this."

"Oh! That's right! I almost forgot that I had a blue potion!"

"When did you get a blue potion?"

"Once you're dead, I'll have a blue potion," I said as my fingers creepily wiggle closer to her.

"NO!!! LINK!! PLEASE SPARE ME!!" She begged and pleaded while minuscule droplets of water getting on my tunic.

"Fine, since you're still slightly useful in this form. Once I can find a better replacement, you get turned into a blue potion," I told her as I opened the boss door. I walked up the steps and into the circular area. Nothing was happening. I turned to leave when the bar rose to block the exit. "That's new."

Ganondorf appeared at the centre of the room, sitting on top of his horse. It was all painfully obvious that this wasn't the real Ganondorf. "I'm not sure anymore. Do I want Ganondorf to kill me or not? I'd say that I'm slowly leaning towards the option of death."

"So… are we going to fight or what?" the phantom asked.

"Could you do me a favour and just kill me now?"

"You're supposed to be the hero. A hero is supposed to get rid of the bad guys."

"Yeah… not feeling it today."

"Can we just fight instead?"

"Can we skip the foreplay and just do a round of magic tennis?"

"Sure… I guess..." he, surprising, complied with my request.

His stead disappeared and he floated in the air. He summoned a large yellow and blue ball of magic and tossed it at me. I hit it back, causing it to go faster. He hit it back, causing it to go back even faster. This volley continued for a while until he missed. I performed a jump attack on him a few times. “Feeling better now that you’ve gotten to attack me?”

“No. I just feeling worse ’cause you’re doing a bad job at killing me.”

“Why do you want to die so much?”

“Existential depression. I think that I’ve had it since I was really little.” I carelessly swung my sword in his direction.

“Uh… if you’re not going to give me a serious fight, I might as well just leave.”

“Yeah, I don’t feel like fighting; I just feel like dying,” I said, completely nonchalant.

“Well… this was pointless. Goodbye.” He disappeared and left a heart container as a blue warp portal appeared.

“Link… don’t you think that was too easy?” Navi asked me.

I shrugged my shoulders, grabbed the heart container, and stepped into the light, letting it teleport me out.

I was warped to The Chamber of Sages, facing a green pad that had the same design as the forest temple warp pad. There stood Saria. “Thank you… because of you, I could awaken as a sage…” she said, her eyes making her look dead inside. “I am Saria: The Sage of the Forest Temple. You know, Link, I always believed that you would come because I know you.”

“Saria…” I tried to talk to her, but it fell upon deaf eyes.

“No… you don’t have to explain it to me… because I can tell that it is destiny for us to not live in the same world.”

“Please… once this is over, we can be together,” I pleaded, tears pricking my eyes.

“Until then, I will stay here as the Forest Sage and help you. So please, take this Medallion,” she said thrusting the object into my hands. As the Chamber faded, she said, “I will always be… your friend…”

I landed in front of the husk of the Great Deku Tree. There was a little sprout in front of it. It suddenly sprung out of the ground and introduced itself. “Hi there! I’m the Deku Tree Sprout! Because you and Saria broke the curse on the Forest Temple, I can grow and flourish! Thanks a lot!”  
I rolled my eyes and walked up to it. “You’re welcome.”

“Hey, have you seen your old friends? None of them recognizes you with your grown-up body, did they?”

“Saria did and she was my only friend.”

“Well… um…” it lost its enthusiasm and got it back as quickly as I had lost it, “everyone else didn’t because the Kokiri never grow up! Even after seven years, they’re still kids!”

“I kind of knew that before I left.”

“T-then you must be wondering why you have grown up!”

“Because I’m not a Kokiri.”

“That’s right! That’s because you’re actually a Hylian! I’m happy to reveal this secret to you!”

“Then why was I, a Hylian child, living amongst the Kokiri?”

“Some time ago, before the king of Hyrule unified this country, there was fierce war in our world. One day, to escape the fires of the war, a Hylian mother and her baby boy entered this forbidden forest. The mother was gravely injured. Her only choice was to entrust the child to the Deku Tree, the guardian spirit of the forest. The Deku Tree could sense that this child of destiny whose fate would affect the entire world, so he took him into the forest. After the mother passed away, the baby was raised as a Kokiri, And now, finally, the day of destiny has come!” After it finished its story, it looked straight at me.

I was as pale as a ghost. “Is that story… true?”

“Yes. You are a Hylian, so you were always bound to leave this forest. Now, that you’ve learned your own destiny, you know what you must do.”

“Save the land of Hyrule?”

“That’s right! Now, Link, break the curses on all of the temples and return peace to Hyrule!”

All enthusiasm had disappeared from my being. “It was a surprise to learn that Saria is one of the Sages, wasn’t it?” Navi irritatingly asked me.

“It’s not really surprising, just depressing,” I glared at her as she hit a sore spot.

“But Link, you’re already depressed. How can it get any worse?”

“I could get crippling depression.”

“I stand corrected. Anyways, I wonder how Sheik knew?”

“Yeah… let’s just go to Kakariko, it’s obvious that I’m not welcome here anymore.” I walked through the Kokiri village as all of the Kokiri stared at me and Navi. I sent one last look at my old treehouse and left the forest. 

Outside, next to Epona, was Sheik. “I see that you’ve broken the curse on the Forest Temple and awakened the Sage. However, there are Sages who still need your help.”

I went ahead and started to hit my head on the nearest object possible. “Uh.. anyways…” Sheik continued, slightly startled, “in order to awaken the other Sages, you must become even more powerful. You must travel over mountains, underwater, and even through time. If you ever want to return to your original time, return the Master Sword to the Pedestal of Time. By doing that, you will travel back in time to when you pulled it out. As long as you have the Master Sword and the Ocarina of Time, you hold time itself in your hands.” He started to back away and pulled out a deku nut. “Link, we shall meet again.”

“Wai--” I reached out to him, but was blinded by the light of the deku nut. I looked around myself, only to find that he was gone. “Ugh… I think I’m going to need a lot of Château Romani in order to get over this,” I muttered as I climbed onto Epona.

“Link. I don’t think it’s a good idea to drink ‘til you pass out,” Navi commented.

“You’re right.” She let out a sigh of relief. “I should be turning you into a blue potion,” I finished.

“NOOOOOO!!!!!!” Her scream of terror and my maniacal laughter were heard across all of Hyrule.

When Navi and I got to Kakariko Village, I carefully glanced around then started going towards the tavern to order a drink before Navi’s annoying dinging rang my ears.

“Hey, Link…? You alright…?”

“If finding out that your parents are dead after all these years, being raised into something you’re not, and have no choice but to save the world from evil, then I'm completely fine….” I answered in a monotone voice that was void of any emotion.

Even though she was flying at the moment, I noticed her wings droop as I continued to walk. Right as I reached the tavern's door, a hand had placed itself on my wrist when I tried to open the building's door. Looking up with my dull blue eyes, I spotted the same man that helped pay for my meal nearly two days ago. His ruby eyes showing, what I guess is, concern?

“You seem down. Why not play a game,” he stated.

Shaking my head, I looked down, “I really don't feel like playing any games…”

“If you stay depressed like that, you won't get anywhere. Come on.”

He began to pull me towards the archery building across from the tavern and dragged me inside.

“If you play this target game, you'll feel better and you'll get a bigger quiver for your arrows,” he said.

I pondered for a minute before saying, “you're not gonna give me a choice, are you?”

“Nope,” he grinned as he dug into his wallet for a red rupee before placing it on the counter.

I sighed before sluggishly getting out my fairy bow as the big, tall man boredly gave me fifteen arrows to borrow. As I stuck one against the wood of my bow, I went to pull the string back before I felt two hands placing themselves on top of mine and a broad chest pressed against my back. My body tensed as the tips of my ears glowed a bright red by the man's breath against my skin.

“Relax. I'm going to help you shoot better,” he whispered as he helped me stand in a more comfortable position while adjusting my arms to the correct position. “Now, aim for the rupees, then let it fly.”

Taking a deep breath as the game clerk blew a whistle, I watched a green rupee jump out from the brick slab in the middle of the shooting range before letting an arrow fly and watching it hit the target. As another blow of the whistle was heard, two blue rupees were sliding along the rope from one wall to the other. Shooting two more arrows, I successfully shot them. When the whistle blew once again, a single blue rupee stood on the brick slab before I hit it with an arrow, doing the same with the other one when it popped up. Watching a green rupee jump up like the first, I shot that one as well before hearing, yet, another blow of the whistle. As two red rupees started to slide along the rope, I shot them both before seeing the last two do the same but in the opposite direction. When I had shot them both, the whistle blew once more, signalling that the game was over. As I saw all ten rupees were hit, the game clerk gave me the big quiver, that can hold up to forty arrows, as an award for completing his game with a perfect score. I turned around to tell the black cloaked male that I got the item he told me about only to find him gone.

Changing out the small quiver for the bigger one, I left the archery building with a small wave to the big man before the sound of Navi’s dinging rang in my ear.

“Do you feel better now?”

“I feel slightly better...now if only that man stayed for five more minutes….really wanted to ask him about why he was all touchy with me….n-not that I minded….”

“You like him?!”

“Wh-what are you talking about….? No, I don't….” I mumbled with a blush scratching my cheeks.

“Suuuuure, you don't. And I don't fly.”

“Oh, shut up before I really do turn you into a blue potion!”

“Eek!” she squealed before hiding in my hat as I sighed before making my way to Death Mountain’s gate.

While making my way up the rocky path, I slaughtered the red tektites that tried to jump in my way before passing the entrance to Dodongo's Cavern. Following the trail until it divided into two separate paths, I took the path to the right that led to Goron City. After passing the square area with a circle of rocks, I went through a cave opening to find the entire city empty except for one lone Goron rolling around on the second floor. I made my way down the stairs and tried to stop the small goron only for him to stop and roll the opposite direction.

“I don't think this Goron is like the other one who would run us over without a second thought,” Navi piped up.

“I noticed that. How do we stop him?”

“....use a bomb?”

I looked around and picked up a bomb flower before tossing it at the small roller, waiting for it to explode. But before the Goron reached the bomb, it exploded and he started to roll the other way once he neared me. My eye twitched at the bad timing before trying to bomb the Goron again only to fail once more. This guy was starting to piss me off. Out of irritation, I randomly threw another flower bomb at him. Surprisingly, the throw was timed right and the bomb exploded right atop of the goron, making him stop. Letting out a sigh, I walked over to him and poked his back to get a response.

“How could you do this to me? You- you're Ganondorf’s servant! Hear my name, and tremble! I am Link! Hero of the Gorons!”

I gave my best ‘what the fuck’ face when he said his name, “Um….my name is Link…..”

When the Goron sat up, he stood and gave a surprised face. “What? Your name is also Link?”

“Yeah…?”

“Then you must be the legendary Dodongo Buster and Hero, Link! My dad is Darunia, do you remember him?”

“I do.”

“My dad named me Link after you because you're so brave! It's a cool name! I really like it!”

“Thanks,” I smiled.

“Link, you're a hero to us Gorons! I'm so glad to meet you! Could I have an autograph?”

“I don't think this is the right time to be giving autographs….”

“Oh...that's right...it's not the right time….you have to help everyone! My dad went inside the Fire Temple to stop the dragon that's inside! If we don't hurry, dad and all of the other Gorons will be eaten..!” Link said before he started to cry.

“Link, we have to calm him down so he can give us any detail about this dragon,” Navi said softly in my ear.

Giving a nod, I kneeled down to the small Goron's height before patting his head, “Hey, it's alright. Why not tell me about the dragon?”

As he wiped his eyes, his body trembled with hiccups before he started to play with his hands, “Long ago, there was a dragon who lived on Death Mountain. Its name was Volvagia, and it ate Gorons. The Hero of the Gorons, using a special hammer, destroyed the dragon. People say it's a myth but the story is true. I know that because my dad is a descendant of the hero.”

“I see...what happened to all the Gorons?”

“They were all taken to the Fire Temple. While dad was out...Ganondorf’s followers came and took them away. All of them will be eaten by Volvagia! Dad said Ganondorf revived Volvagia. As a warning to those who oppose him, Ganondorf is going to feed my people to that monster. Dad went to the Fire Temple to save them and defeat the dragon all by himself! Please help us, Link!”

“Don't worry. I'll help your people and your dad,” I said as I patted his head before standing up.

As he looked up at me, he smiled, “I'll give you this heat-resistant tunic. The entrance to the Fire Temple is behind the big statue in dad's room.”

“Thanks,” I smiled before taking the red clothing and heading to Darina’s room. When I got there, I stripped off my green Kokiri clothing and put on the red one, along with the matching hat. Once I buckled the clasp of my belt, I went over to the statue and began to pull. The thing was quite heavy, but I managed to make an opening for me to slip through.

The second I came out of the tunnel, I was met with a blast of extremely hot heat to the face, “Holy shit….it's so hot….” I huffed.

“Let's get to the temple. The sooner the better,” Navi whined from her spot on my shoulder.

I agreed with her as I made my way to the bridge, that seems to be broken. Getting out my hookshot, I aimed at the wooden beam above the bridge and pulled myself towards it then made my way towards the temple's entrance only to be stopped by Sheik five seconds later.

“Sheik….can you make this quick…? I'm literally melting in here…” I whined.

“Truly sorry that I'm keeping you, Link,” he said as he pulled out his harp. “Learn the Bolero of Fire with me real quick.”

I sighed deeply but pulled out the Ocarina of Time out of my item pocket, following the notes Sheik had played with the string instrument in his hands. When I, once again, felt magic in the song, he out away his harp before stepping back, “Link, I'll see you again.”

I went to ask if he knew anything about Zelda but I was held back as a blast of fire shot up from between the gaps of the bridge, giving him the perfect opportunity to escape with a deku nut. With a hum, I quickly made my way to the temple's entrance after climbing down the ladder that led to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! What did you think of this chapter? I'd love to hear what you think in the comments! Also, do you want me to post some of my other LoZ fanfics (the ones that aren't too crappy) here on Ao3? Do you think I should post a French version of this?


	4. The Fire Temple

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link enters the Fire Temple and runs into a sticky situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! This chapter does have smut/lemon in it. If you don't like that type of stuff, I suggest skipping part of this chapter, if not the whole thing.

When I entered the temple, I felt somewhat relieved since it's not as hot in here. But I knew I was jinxing myself since I know this fucking temple is going to have rooms filled with lava. With a groan, I walked up the flight of stairs and took a left to the only unlocked door in the room. Once I walked through the metal door, low and behold, more fucking lava. As I scowled, I noticed a familiar Goron across the room in front of a huge door with a lock that needed the boss key to unlock.

“Who's there? Is that you, Link…?” Darunia said as he tried to get a better view of me from across the room.

“Yup. It's me.”

“Whoa, it really is you! You've grown so big since I last saw you! I want to have a man-to-man talk with you, but now's not the time,” he spoke.

“I know. Link told me the situation and about the dragon. I came to help,” I said.

“Good. That speeds things up here a bit. I'm going to try to stop the dragon before it gets released and makes Hyrule a burning wasteland, even if I don't have the legendary hammer. Link, as my Sworn Brother, I ask you to help my people. They're all trapped in cells throughout the temple. I'm counting on you.”

With that, he, somehow, unlocked the door and made his way inside the boss room before locking it back up.

“Um….how was he able to do that?” Navi chimed.

“I don't know and for all the strange things I've seen, I don't care anymore. Let's just rescue the Gorons and help Darunia destroy the dragon.”

“Good idea.”

As I looked around the room, I spotted a cell to the left of the room. Carefully jumping the stone pillars that were sticking out of the lava, I made my way to the cell and stepped on the switch; letting the Goron free. The second the gate was open, he bolted out of the temple like there was no tomorrow. Spotting a small chest, I kicked it open and, duh duh duh DUUUUH!, inside was a small key. Grabbing it, I jumped back to the door I came from and left the room before making my way to the other door that's locked with a chain.

Once I unlocked it, I was met with a room covered in lava pits, moving square platforms, and a long bridge. Looking around, I decided to head to the doors on my left first since they were closer. As I carefully maneuvered around the lava pit, I got to the stone platform safely then made my way to the bottom door first. Going inside, I found another Goron in his cell. I stepped on the switch to set the Goron free, watching the cell bars open his path. Watching him leave, I kicked open the small chest to reveal, duh duh duh DUUUUUH!, another small key. With a sigh, I left the small cell room and looked up towards the other door, which was blocked by one of those blue blocks. I'm gonna rename it the Block of Time. Pulling out the ocarina, I played the Song of Time and watched as the block moved from the door to the space in front of me to act as a staircase. Climbing up to the second door, I turned the doorknob and pushed it open.

Entering the room, several floor tiles suddenly started to float; spinning faster and faster before flying towards my head. As I quickly grabbed my Hylian shield from my back, I placed it in front of me to protect myself from getting bashed by the enemy tiles. I waited until the last one had hit my shield then lowered my defense to spot a likelike and a golden skulltula mindlessly twisting itself along the wall, making its usual scratching sound.

As I made my way over to the slimy enemy, I tried to slash it with my sword only to get swallowed up in its mouth and have only my head sticking out.

“H-Hey! Let me go!” I yelled as I tried, yet failed, to pull myself out of its disgusting body.

I could feel its tentacles feeling me up and stripping me of my items and clothing. Shuddering at the feeling, I, once again, tried to get out by force. As I was about to reach for my sword, I froze as I felt something revolting. Its slimy appendages had wrapped themselves around my legs and forced them to spread. My face paled; desperately reaching for my sword before feeling a tentacle engulf the entirety of my ‘master sword’. Giving a panicked cry, I lashed around in fear, tears forming in my eyes as it started to suck me off.

My disgusted whimpers turned into heated moans as my body started to get hot from the disgusting sensation that I was getting from the monster. I absolutely hated like it, just like when I was trying to get the Sun Song and the most recent time that I left Castle Town. I felt dirty all over again. Yet, my body was saying something entirely different this time. But I knew the enemy wasn't finished with me as I felt two more slimy tentacles latch onto my nipples and sucked hard. Desperately shaking my head, I clawed at the likelike's mucus-covered body as two lubricated tentacles spread my asscheeks apart and a third prodded my ring of muscle before slamming inside of me. I screamed from the immense pain it gave me, feeling myself jolt forward repeatedly from its thrusting.

My slime covered body shaked at the feeling of being fucked in the ass while being sucked off at the same time. Tears streamed down my face as my moans gradually grew louder and louder until I was practically screaming. Soon after my screams escalated, a knot started forming in my lower abdomen as the likelike's actions got faster. All of a sudden, I threw my head back as I let my semen explode into the monster's mouth and its own flowed into my anus. Sensing danger, rather than its accomplishment of getting what it wanted from me, the tentacles rapidly retreated from my body making me shudder when it pulled out of my ass and off of my ‘master sword’.

Violently spitting me out, I landed on the hard tiled floor with a pained gasp, my naked form covered in mucus while semen slowly dripped out of my ass. I could barely feel my legs and my lower back hurt like hell. I watched, through tired eyes, as the enemy tried to escape with all my items still inside. Navi’s alarmed dinging did nothing to keep my eyelids from drooping out of exhaustion. The last thing I saw was a figure, completely cloaked in black, attacking and killing the likelike before I blacked out.

Navi’s alarmed dinging and the sound of a man yelling woke me up. I looked at myself to find that I was fully dressed. “See! You woke him up!” The man shouted.

“I’m trying to get him away from someone as dangerous as you!” Navi argued.

“What the hell is going on?” I asked as a headache started to form.

I felt my body being turned and my face was shoved into a mass of black fabric. “I came in and found you unconscious so I figured I would help while trying to keep your annoying fairy from waking you up,” he said, obviously at his wits ends because of her.

“And I was trying to keep this man from abusing you in your weakened state!” Navi retorted.

“Hey, could you turn her into a blue potion for me?” I asked, trying to look up at him.

He chuckled, “I could, but I don’t have all of the ingredients.”

“Looks like you’ve been spared for a little longer, Navi.” I turned my attention towards him. “Thank you for your help, but how are you not on fire right now?”

“I don’t think that’s a good question to ask at the moment. I think that it’d be better if you finished this temple.”

“But… I don’t want to…”

“Well… then why?” He prodded for an answer.

I felt my face and ears get really warm. “I… uh… I… don’t…… nevermind…” I cut myself off and tried to bury my face deeper into his chest.

I liked the feeling of his chest rumbling whenever he would speak. “Well, if you don’t give me a reason, I’ll have to leave.”

“!!” I was still very tired and sore. “Could you take me back to Kakariko? I need to rest up.”

“Of course~,” he cooed. I felt him pick me up and I wrapped my arms around his neck. I took this moment to breathe in his scent. It was somewhat musty with a hint of wood. It was, oddly, comforting. I soon fell back to sleep, forgetting everything that had just happened.

“LINK! WAKE UP!” Navi yelled in my ear, effectively waking me up.

I glared at her, grabbed an empty bottle out of my pouch and shoved her inside, effectively closing her inside. The bottle rattled as she struggled to get out and I just shoved it inside my pouch. I climbed out of bed and put on my adventuring gear and left the inn. I pulled out my Ocarina and played the Bolero of Fire. I sluggishly watched as the little bits of yellow magic surrounded me and quickly transported me outside of the Fire Temple. I walked through the temple and decided that I was going to avoid the room with that had a likelike in it, at all costs. I went of to the wall on the opposite side of the room and noticed it looked a bit… odd. I decided to follow rule #1 of adventuring: if you don’t know what it is or what it does, then you should always use a bomb. I pulled out a bomb and placed it in front of the wall, getting away from it while yelling, “fire in the hole!”

As I said that, the bomb exploded and revealed another door. I cautiously opened it and found a goron, in a cell, and a switch to let him out. I rolled my eyes, stepped on the switch, and the goron thanked me, leaving so quickly that it shouldn’t even be possible for a goron. I opened the chest and got a small key. I left the room and progressed towards my right and opened the door using one of the small keys. I walked in and noticed a spot where lava kept on starting and stopping like a geyser. I turned around and used my hookshot to get s far up the wire wall. I climbed on top and shoved a creepy block off the edge. It fell down and covered the geyser. I jumped down to stand on the block. It erupted once more and pushed me all the way to a different level. I got off and opened the door.

Inside, was another goron in a cell. I just got the puzzle done and over with, slightly annoyed as I didn’t get close enough to the edge to drop the bomb on multiple occasions. I climbed up the barbed wall and got onto another platform as the timer, from a switch that I used a bomb on earlier, timed out. I walked through the door in front of me.

“Now I’m stuck in a maze. Geez… can’t the people making these places be more creative.” I mumbled as I avoided magic rolling boulders and entered another room, another goron, and another small key.

I left that miniroom and found another goron, in another cell, and another chest with a small key. I entered another room, using a small key and noticed extremely narrow paths in front of me and an eye switch up and to my right. I, in a very bored manner, hit it with an arrow. I walked across the narrow path and to my right to the door that was originally barred. I turned to my right, opened the chest, and got the dungeon map. I returned to the previous room, turn to my right, again, and opened the door with a small key. I walked along another narrow path and jumped onto a grate platform.

“Lava, lava, more lava, and a wall of fire that’s chasing me. How much better could this place be?” I sarcastically said while running to the opposite side of the room and through that door. I jumped to the platform in front of me until there was one with a cracked floor, placed a bomb on top of it and continued going. It exploded and I stepped on a switch, causing another cell to open. I walked into his cell, opened the cell and got another small key. I went back to the hole that I had opened. I climbed down to the bottom, another switch, another goron, another small key. I climbed back up and went back into the room with the wall of fire. I went forward and to my right and opened the door that was there with a small key.


	5. Volvagia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link finishes the Fire Temple and gets sloshed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I bet that you can guess by now, but this is a collaboration work between me and PocketMochi97 and that it has been crossposted on DeviantArt, Wattpad, and Fanfiction.net.

“This place has more small keys than the last. I just hope that the next temple doesn’t have even more small keys.” I went through the door at the end of the hall and entered… I don’t even want to think about it… and did what needed to be done to get to the next room. I was just lead to the opposite side of the room, stepped on a switch, got past so fire, bombed wall, felt like I had done this way too many times, and entered a slidey door. A set of bar dropped down and locked the door behind me. I killed a Fire Dancer, got on a magic platform and went through the door that it lead me to. I climbed up a wall, activated a switch with a bomb, climbed another wall and went through another door. I stepped on another switch and opened the chest that was in the center of the ring of fire. “Duh duh duh DUH! I finally got the Megaton Hammer!”

“Link, I think that you need to see a psychiatrist,” Navi’s voice rang out from my pouch.

“JUST SHUT UP!” I yelled at her. I walked back to the entrance of the room, stood on a creepy block, and hit it with my new hammer. It started falling with me on it and took me to a new area. I used the hammer again to knock some pillars out of the way and entered the hidden door. In the next room, I hit my lovely hammer on the ground, feeling the wonderful tremors as it caused a staircase to form. I looked carefully down and noticed a blue switch. I grabbed a nearby, and very conveniently place, box. I jumped down the giant steps, box in hand, and placed it on the switch once I was all the down. The bars lifted off of the door and I continued on through. I hit another creepy block, went down into that room. I hit a rusty looking switch with my hammer and walked through the door that was next to it. I looked at the giant gap between my side and the other. Taking a deep breath, I ran forward, rolled, and jumped. I barely grabbed the ledge and climbed up. There was another Block of Time. I played the Song of Time.

“Maybe I should go back to calling them Time Shits…” I asked myself as I hit the rusty switch that, somehow, had not been activated by the block being on it. Another goron, another small key. I left the room the way that I came in and it locked right when I came back out. I hit a block and it took me all the way back to the second room in the damn place. I went back to the first room and hit the stacked stones to reveal… a door that needs a small key. I opened it with the roll of my eyes and walked on in. I noticed the door was locked and killed all of the enemies in the room.

“What am I, pest control? This room was literally filled to the brim with them.” I walked to the, recently, unlocked door. Through that door were more tile enemies… and a likelike at the back.

“Yeah… no way in hell am I going near one of those again,” I said as I felt the blood drain from my face. I quickly ran through the next door which was, thankfully, unlocked. Unfortunately, the door locked behind me. I quickly defeated the Fire Dancer and the doors opened. I opened the chest and got more bombs. I left the room and saved the last goron. I opened the extra fancy chest. "Duh duh duh DUH!! I got the boss key!" I went back to the door that had the boss lock on it and went through.

In the center of the room was a hexagon platform with nine holes of lava. “What is up with this world and the number six and multiples of three? Aren’t those, like, really unlucky?”

I jumped down and watched as a dragon with an armored face came out of the center hole. I played a fun game of Whack Volvagia. All you need to do is whack Volvagia with a hammer as soon as it tries to leave a hole! It’s that simple! As it went into the air, I hit it with arrows. After a while, it rammed into the wall and caused rocks to fall from the ceiling. “Oh no… whatever shall I do?”

It went down into a hole and I whacked it one last time as it came out. It spiralled into the air and exploded, its head falling to the ground and dissolving. It left a heart container behind and blue portal opened and I stepped in.

Back in the Chamber of Sages was Darunia. “Thank you, Brother! I really appreciate what you did. I thank you on behalf of the entire Goron race!” He let out a proud chuckle, “You turned out to be a real man, just as I thought you would!”

I scratched the back of my head. “Oh, you simply flatter me.”

“By the way, I, the wild Darunia, turned out to be the great Fire Sage…” he shook his head a little. “Isn’t that funny, Brother?” He continued before I could give a snarky reply to his rhetorical question. “Well, this must be what is called destiny. Nothing has made me happier than helping you seal the evil here!”

“You’re welcome.”

“Here brother, take this!” He said, shoving the Fire Medallion into my hands, “This is a medallion that contains the power of the fire spirits and my friendship.” The Chamber quickly started to fade around me. “Don’t forget… now you and I are true Brothers!”

I was placed back in the Death Mountain Crater and it looked so much calmer when compared to before I finished the Fire Temple. I returned to Kakariko and went into the tavern. “Oh, you’re back,” the man in black greeted from the bar. “I can tell that you’ve finished the temple.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, because you haven’t changed out of your Goron Tunic.”

“...”

“Ok, just let me buy you a drink.”

“No, I’ll buy us a drink. You’ve already helped me a lot, it’s the least I could do.” I pulled out my wallet, which had become a lot heavier than before.

“... Fine… I’ll have a bottle of vodka.”

“Bartender.” I flagged him down. “I’ll have a Château Romani and he'll have a bottle of vodka.” The bartender held out his hand, waiting for the rupees. I paid up and he left. I turned to back to the man in black and asked, “Do you live here in Kakariko?”

“No. I’m like you, an adventurer. By the way, where is your fairy?”

“She’s in a bottle.”

“Please let me out! I'm running out of air!” I heard her plea.

I sighed as I let out the annoying fairy, letting her fly onto my head.

“Why do you keep showing up everywhere?!” 

“Listen here, fairy… but it's not like I'm stalking you guys. I just happen to be in the same place you are by coincidence.”

“Can’t we just relax for once on this sucky adventure…?” I groaned.

As the bartender came over with our drinks, the man calmly sipped his while I completely downed my own, not giving any shits if I was going to get drunk. I honestly deserved it after all that has happened since I woke up from a seven year sleep. From getting my ass groped by a pedophile, reliving my ReDead nightmares, dealing with temples with too many small keys, to being raped my a fucking likelike. Putting the cup down albeit roughly onto the mahogany wooden bar, I sighed deeply as I felt depression starting to kick in again. Sneaking a glance at the dark clothed man next to me, I saw his lips form into a smirk as a chuckle left his throat.

“Planning on having a few drinks?”

“Yeah….”

“Why not have something strong like I have?”

“I don't know… I mean…” I looked around before whispering, “I'm technically underage…” I tried to explain. But, apparently, he didn't catch my drift.

“You're being too hard on yourself. You'll be fine. You're an adult. Have a drink or two. You look like you need it.”

I sighed, “Alright…”

He grinned before raising up a hand to flag down the bartender, “Give my buddy here some vodka, please. He's on me.”

With a nod of his head, the bartender started to whip up a drink as I laid my cheek down on the counter. I eyed him closely before realizing that I don't even know the guy's name and that his face was entirely covered by a dark cloth. The only things showing were his eyes which I, somehow, thought were a brilliant shade of red. Upon hearing a thunk of glass being placed by my head, I sat up and nodded at the bartender, as a thanks, before taking the shot glass in my hand and looking at the man.

“Go on.”

Licking my lips, I placed the rim to my lips and took a drink, tasting the bitterness as it burned my throat. I coughed a few times as a hand started to pat my back. Giving a sigh, I looked at him with a slight smile, “I'm fine. Just a lot stronger than what I'm used to,” I reassured him.

“Then have a few more. But try not to go overboard. I'm not made of rupees,” he chuckled.

I laughed a bit and gladly took his word. Watching him hold up his own glass to me, I smiled and held up mine before we clinked them together. I noticed Navi as she was happily drinking the other glass of Romani before laying down on my hat that I placed on the table for her.

Time passed like a blur. I couldn't keep my head from spinning after finishing my third shot of vodka. I, somewhat, felt the man's hands around my waist as he helped me up to my feet. I wobbled while trying to keep my balance but suddenly felt myself being lifted off the floor. Looking up with a blush scratching my cheeks from the alcohol, I noticed that he had lifted me in his arms. With a blank yet tired face, I rested my cheek on his shoulder as he carried me out of the bar and towards the Inn. Letting my eyelids close, I fell into a light sleep. I didn't know how much time had passed when I woke up again, finding myself on a bed in someone's arms. Glancing up, I found the dark clothed man looking at a map of Hyrule before he noticed I was awake.

“Looks like you're up. I should get going,” he said as he proceeded to get up.

But before he could, I pulled him down into a hug and buried my face into his chest. By this point, I was still completely drunk and had no control of my actions. In my, somehow, iron grip, the dark figure struggled to get free while letting out a string full of curses. I could tell he was getting very pissed but I didn't care in the state I'm in. Minutes had passed and the man had eventually given up since he laid down on the bed and pulled me closer with a sigh.

“You're a handful when drunk….” he mumbled.

I paid no attention as I snuggled into his chest more. Feeling his arms around me, I drifted off to sleep, not aware of the hangover I was going to have in the morning.


	6. The Ice Cavern

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Link, begrudgingly, continues on his quest to save Hyrule.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, this is a collaboration work between I (the fabulous Boobsmckenzi) and Pocket Mochi97. This has been posted on DeviantArt and Wattpad by Pocket Mochi97 and here (duh) along with fanfiction.net (under my username: peachystar321).

I woke up with a massive hangover. "Ow… what did I even do last night?" I asked no one in particular.

"You got drunk and decided to put yourself in danger," Navi angrily chimed and glowed a blood red.

"That's not really telling me what happened," I growled as she slowly made the pounding in my head even worse.

"Well, you hung out with that dangerous guy and cuddled up to him! He could have totally taken advantage of you!" she scolded me.

"Could you please be more quiet? I currently have a massive hangover and you're not helping."

"I'm just saying--!" I stopped her mid-sentence and shoved her back into a bottle. "Hey! Let me out of here!" she complained and bumped around inside. I placed the bottle back into my pouch, changed into my green tunic, put my gear back on, and left the inn. I walked out of Kakariko and hopped onto Epona.

I rode her as far as I could before getting off at Zora's river. I walked all the way up to the waterfall and played Zelda's Lullaby. The water no longer flowed over the entrance. I hopped in and stared in shock. "Why the hell is Zora's domain frozen over?"

I continued trudging along, even as I walked past King Zora, who was frozen in red ice. I walked to where Lord Jabu Jabu used to be, only to find that it was mostly frozen. I jumped on the ice and to the cave to my left. I entered it to find that it was an ice cavern. I continued walking in, cutting down ice and not getting myself hurt by falling icicles. In the first room were four freezards and a blade trap. The path on the opposite end of the room was blocked with ice bars. I, carefully, killed the freezards and avoided the blade trap. I continued going deeper in once the ice bars lifted. I cut down some ice and saw a rotating pillar with two giant blades in the centre of the room. Looking around, I ran in, avoiding the obvious trap and collected the silver rupees which unlocked a door that was barred. I continued forward into the next room before killing some more freezards and a few ice keese. I used all of my bottles and put blue flames in them, meaning that I released Navi.

"Link! I swear on the three goddesses--!"

I cut her off by saying, "You have no clue how much I want to get rid of you, do you?"

She glared at me as I went back to the previous room and melted the red ice to my right. "Wow, Link! I didn't think that you knew what to do with that!" she commented.

"It's really obvious. Normal fire melts normal ice. Thus, abnormal fire melts abnormal ice." I made my way through the next room and collected the silver rupees, unfortunately having to use one of the blue flames in the process. I restocked on blue fire while in that room and made my way to the next. After using one of the blue flames, I went back, got more, and returned to the sliding door. I entered and it locked behind me. Inside was a White Wolfos.

"Oh, no! Link--!" I cut her off by killing it in one hit.

"As you were saying?"

"Nevermind."

I opened the chest in front of me. Duh duh duh DUUUUUH!! I got the Iron Boots! I turned around to find Sheik standing at the opposite end of the room. "We meet again, Link," he said, looking like he had a little more colour to his face than usual. "If you came to meet the Zoras, you've wasted your time. This is all there is." He wave one hand, gesturing to the room.

"Yeah… I don't want to see Ruto… I hope that she doesn't remember about our engagement when we were kids..." I mumbled, but he still heard it.

"You two were what?" He asked, his face seeming to turn a slight red.

"I did it so that I could get the Zora's Sapphire…." I muttered.

"Ah… well, the Zoras are still technically here, they're just trapped under a thick layer of ice. I did get her out, but she headed straight to the Water Temple. All of this is being caused by a curse that was placed on the temple."

"Oh great, now I don't want to save the world because I don't want to deal with her."

"I shall teach you the Serenade of Water, then you can get this whole ordeal done and over with." He pulled out his lyre and plucked the strings to form a magic melody. I played along and learned the piece.

Before he could back away from me, I grabbed his wrist. "Sheik, why are helping me," I asked, looking down at his form.

"It is my duty and destiny to aid the hero in his quest to defeat the evil in this land," he replied, trying to get free of my grip. "Could you please let go of me?" he asked, his ears a slight red.

"Why should I?"

"Because I have other things to do."

"Then I have one more question."

"What is it?" He gave me a hard look.

"Why did you help me in the Fire Temple when I… when I… I got..." I could even finish my sentence as I was reduced to a stuttering blushing mess.

His gaze softened. "What happened?"

"Y-y-you know w-what h-happened!" I let go of his wrist and decided that I had more interest in sitting on the floor and covering my face with my hands.

"I do not know which specific event you are talking about," he rephrased. "What is it that happened."

"You saved me..."

"I never entered the Fire Temple."

"Don't deny it. No one else could have done that."

"Again, I never entered."

"Why are you denying it?"

"Because I am telling the truth." He pulled away and looked me in the eyes. "Now, what happened that caused you to think that I had saved you."

"Who else could have gotten all of my equipment back and a new tunic for me?"

He gave me a hard look. "What caused you to lose all of your equipment and your tunic?"

"I was… r-raped… by a likelike."

His eyes widened. "You were… by a likelike… why didn't you get your sword out to kill it?"

"It had already gotten to me..."

"I'm sorry." He had a genuinely sad look in his eyes. He also had a mix of anger and jealousy in his eyes. "Shall I escort you until you have to enter the Water Temple?"

“Yes. Do you promise to stay with me until then?” 

"Yes, I promise. Now let's get going. I shall get us out of here quickly." He stood and helped me up. He pulled me close with one arm and snapped a deku nut down with the other. The light blinded me.

When the light cleared, we were in front of the frozen King Zora. I walked up to him and let a blue flame out of a bottle, causing him to be thawed. I went back to the platform in front of him. "Oh--I've come back to life! Was it you who saved me. Don't be nervous!” I nervously stepped forward. “It seems that you have a hard time breathing underwater. As a token of my gratitude, have this tunic. With this, you can breathe underwater and not drown," King Zora said, tossing the Zora Tunic directly onto my head.

Sheik turned to me, “Shall we go to the Water Temple?”

I shook my head. “There is something I must do first.”

He gave me a strange look. “What could you possibly need to do before going to the Water Temple?”

“Get a stronger sword.”

“Isn’t the Master Sword the strongest sword out there?”

I gave a small chuckle, “No, there is a stronger sword out there. I’ve heard that it is called the Biggoron Sword.”

“So… what is it and how do you get it?”

“I know that, unless to defeat evil, it’s stronger than the Master Sword, but it has the downside of being a two-handed weapon.”

“So… what do you need to do to get this weapon?”

“I think that it’s a long series of fetch quests.”

His eye twitched. “And why didn’t you do this earlier?”

“For some strange reason I just know that in order to finish this quest, I need King Zora to be thawed.”

“So… you want me… to help you… with a really long series of fetch quests?”

“Yeah. It’ll probably take a week or so to complete.”

“Yeah, no,” he said, trying to back far enough away to escape.

“But you promised and you should never break your promises!” I pouted and crossed my arms in front of my chest, letting out an angry puff of air.

He let out an exasperated sigh, “That’s right… I’ll help you until you get to the Water Temple….”

“By the way, does your use of a deku nut count as a teleportation spell?”

“No… why is that important?”

“Can you go wherever you want with it?”

“Yes… again, why is this so important?”

“I think the quest length just got reduced to a few days.” He started to hit his head against the wall. “Come on! Let’s go to Kakariko! There’s a lady there that has come up with a miniature version of a cucco that doesn’t cause her to break out in hives. I think that that is the start of our long quest,” I said as we climbed onto Epona.

Once we got there, his legs were shaking as if he were about to collapse. His skin was deathly pale and his ears bright red. “Can we rest?” he asked between shaky breaths.

“Once I get a mini cucco.”

“What the hell do we even have to do to get this damn sword?” he asked, irritation evident in his voice.

“I have to get a pocket cucco, wait for it to hatch from its egg and then use it to wake up a lazy person. After that, I talk to the cucco lady and get her brother’s blue cucco. I then go all the way to the Lost Woods and give the cucco back to the brother and he gives me an odd mushroom, telling me to go to the old lady’s potion shop. Then I give the mushroom, before it expires, to the lady and she hands me the medicine made from said mushroom and she tells me to deliver it to him. I then go back to the Lost Woods, hand the medicine over to a Kokiri girl who informs me that the guy probably turned into a Stalfos. She then gives me his saw and I have to head over to Gerudo Valley and have Epona jump over a giant casme and give the saw to the craftsman who gives me the broken Giant’s Knife, also known as the broken Biggoron Sword. After all of that, I have to climb Death Mountain and talk to Biggoron. He then tasks me with getting the world’s best eye drops. I return to Zora’s Domain and get a special frog from King Zora. I go to the Lakeside Laboratory and give it, before it expires, to the doctor. He makes the eye drops and I give it to the Biggoron before it expires. Once all that is done, I give him the broken sword to him and he gives me the completed sword after three days.”

“How do you know all of this?”

“I don’t even know. I think it’s related to the fourth wall.”

He gave me a quizzical look. “What’s the fourth wall?”

“It’s a theory stating that any and every world is a fictional universe that is within another universe. Any universe can be peered into by any other.”

“I… don’t even know how to describe my confusion…” he said with a completely confused look on his face.

“Don’t worry, it somehow makes a lot more sense once you’ve travelled through time,” I reassured him while patting him on the shoulder.

“Can we just take a rest?”

“Once I get the Pocket cucco.”

With that, I grabbed his wrist and dragged him with me over to the cucco lady. After I had obtained the Pocket Cucco, I walked back over to where Sheik was standing while carefully carrying the egg.

"Now, can we rest?"

"Sure. There's an inn in front of us and the building past that is the tavern. If you're looking for me, I'll be in there," I told him; leaving him behind so that I could get to the tavern.

"But what about the cucco egg? How long does it take to hatch?"

"It'll hatch within 24 hours."

“Can't you just, I don't know, use the Sun Song?”

“The what?”

“The Sun Song.”

“Do I even have that one?” I asked myself as I dug through my pouch and pulled out my ocarina and song notebook. “Let's see… Sun Song… Sun Song… no, not the Ballad of the Windfish… definitely not the Melody of Darkness… also not the Ting Tong Song… uh… or the Song of the Hero… nope, not The Ballad of the Goddess… where the hell is it?” I asked myself as I flipped through the notebook again. “No, I don't want to play the New Wave Bossa Nova or the Elegy of Emptiness… there it is! The Sun Song!”

“Just… play the song,” Sheik groaned.

I placed the ocarina to my lips and instantly forgot what I was going to play. “What was I going to play, again?”

“The. Sun. Song.”

“How does that one go, again?”

Sheik quickly grabbed my notebook, flipped it to the Sun Song, and played it. It suddenly turned to night and he played it again, causing it to be day again. He shoved my notebook back into my hands and flopped down in a shady spot. “Just do what you need to do with that Pocket Cucco and come back and get me.” He closed his eyes and fell asleep.

I walked into a random house and found Talon sleeping. I walked straight the bed he was sleeping on and pulled out the Pocket Cucco, causing it to let out an extremely loud, “CUUUUUCCOOOOOO!!!!”

“AAH!” He woke with a start and groggily glared at me and my very smug looking cucco.

I left the house and returned to the crazy cucco lady and showed her the smug look on its face. “Oh my! Look at how happy he looks! You are really good at handling Cuccos. Please take my brother’s blue cucco. Ever since he left, his cucco got really quiet. I think that you will make him very happy.” she said, snatching the happy Cucoo and handed me her brother’s depressed blue Cucco.

“Ok,” I told her and walked over to where Sheik was napping. I hovered over him, questioning whether or not to wake him up. I decided not to wake him up and to instead just carry him back to Epona. As I picked him up, he cuddled into my chest. He seemed a bit too feminine to be a man. I shrugged it off and walked out of the village with him in my arms.

When I placed him on top of Epona, I climbed up behind him. I stirred her to a gallop and directed her towards the Kokiri Forest. About half-way there, Sheik started to wake up, letting out a yawn and stretching as best as he could in his current position. “Good afternoon, Sheik. Did you sleep well?”

He jolted at the sound of my voice and nearly fell off, if it weren’t for me catching him. “I-I-I’m okay… I-I-I was just… s-s-startled…” he stuttered.

“I’m sorry for startling you. Anyways, we’re on our way to the Lost Woods, but there is something… personal that I must do in Kokiri Village before we go find that guy in the Lost Woods.”

“Okay. When do we arrive?”

“We should be there in a few more hours.”

“Ugh… I’m already sore…”

“We can stop so that you can stretch.”

“...” He looked very tempted to say yes. Instead, he said, “... No… I’ll be fine…” His face was bright red.

I stopped Epona, climbed off of her, and lifted him off and down onto the ground. “I don’t like it when my friends lie to me.”

“I… uh… didn’t want to slow us down…”

“Go ahead and walk around, you really should stretch out your legs.”

He started to walk on shaky legs. ”Of course…” He hobbled around for a little bit.

I returned my attention to Epona. I looked back to where Sheik was standing, only to notice that he wasn’t there anymore. “If this is going to keep happening, then it’s going to take forever to get this done.”


	7. The Biggoron Sword

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fetch quest of rage alongside part of the water temple! Watch as Link rages and argues slightly more than usual and lies to a kid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey. I made this with Pocket Mochi97. She's awesome. You should totally check out her DeviantArt, Wattpad and on the Legend of Zelda Amino.

It was about midnight by the time we even got to Kokiri Village because Sheik refused to ride Epona the rest of the way there. “You literally made this way longer than it had to be,” I complained as I climbed the ladder to my treehouse.

“I’m sorry…” he said, climbing up the ladder as well.

“My treehouse is too small for two adults in it, so you’ll have to sleep on the deck.” He seemed happy that I even showed him where I lived, but also really annoyed by the fact that he couldn’t come in. I looked inside and noticed that it had, somehow, gotten bigger than it was when I was a child. “It somehow got bigger. You can come in,” I told him as I poked my head back out the door.

Watching him climb up the ladder, I moved back so he could come in, watching him look around my room. “Have you not been to a friend's house before?”

“No…I’ve never had a friend before…”

"I didn't think that I'd meet anyone who has had a more pathetic childhood than I did, but I stand corrected." He just glared at me, but didn't say anything. "Good night," I told him and flopped onto my bed.

Last night, I dreamt about the man in all black. Needless to say, my bed sheets needed to be changed this morning. I woke up before Sheik and left to stretch. I climbed back down the ladder and watched as a Kokiri girl, Fado, ran up to me. "Who are you and why is an adult like you here in the Kokiri Forest? You know that you shouldn't be allowed in here."

"..." I silently questioned myself on whether or not I should tell her. "Do you remember a boy named Link?" I decided to redirect attention from the matter at hand.

"Hm? You knew him?"

"Yes."

"What's he doing."

"He was trying to save the Kokiri Forest," I lied.

She gave me an angry look. "He killed the Great Deku Tree! Why would he try to save the Kokiri Forest if he killed the Great Deku Tree?"

"When I last saw him, he wanted me to tell the Kokiri this:" I cleared my throat and said, ‘I didn't mean to kill the Great Deku Tree. I didn't want to kill him, but he asked me to go inside him to defeat a parasite that was killing him. I'm sorry I couldn't save him. The least I could do is leave the forest to protect my friends’." I continued to lie through my teeth.

“Did he really say that?” She gave a disbelieving look.

“Yes… this is what he said with his dying breath.”

She had a very sad look her face. “I didn’t think that he would die…”

I patted her on the head. “He wouldn’t want you to grieve over his death; he would want you to keep on living happily.”

“You’re right, mister!” she smiled. “How about I help around?”

“That would be great,” I accepted the offer as Sheik came out of my treehouse. “I’m looking for a man who entered the Lost Forest. There was something I was supposed to give him.”

“Hm… I think that I might know where he is…” she said while walking, “Follow me or else you’ll get lost.”

As I started to follow her, Sheik asked, “Where are we going?”

I answered, “We’re doing the first delivery of the long string of fetch quests.”

“Can we not ride Epona today?”

“No can do. We won’t be able to deliver our next thing on time if we don’t take Epona.”

“Ugh…” he let out a strangled groan of displeasure. We entered the Lost Woods and continued following Fado to a specific clearing.

“Here he is,” she said and pointed towards a squatting man and then left.

I walked up to him and pulled out his blue Cucco. “Your sister wants me to give your Cucco to you.”

"My cucco looks so happy with you..." he said, taking the cucco out of my hands. "Please take this to the old hags' potion shop." He handed me an odd mushroom.

"Ok, Sheik, let's hurry and get back to Kakariko."

"Can't we just warp there?" He asked following behind me.

"You can. I can't."

"Why?"

"I feel like warping will make it immediately expire."

"Can I not ride on Epona?"

"Can you run as fast as a horse."

"No."

"There's your answer," I said as we exited Kokiri Forest.

"I don't wa--" I cut him off by mounting Epona and pulling him up to sit in front of me.

"Damn… I think that you might be more annoying than Zelda."

"What did you say?" he demanded.

"Rephrase, you are about as annoying as Ruto." I stirred Epona to a gallop and we argued the entire way there.

"And as I said, the Picori, aka the Minish, do exist! The proof is all around us!" I yelled at Sheik as we entered Kakariko.

"They are not real! If they were, then why do we never get to interact with them!" he yelled right back.

"That's because they can't be seen by adults and they like to live peaceful lives!" I yelled at him as we entered the main potion shop and out the back door.

"Wouldn't it be easier if we knew they were there!"

"They're like the Kokiri; they don't want to be tainted by the darkness in Hylian hearts!" 

We entered the old hags' potion shop and I handed her the mushroom which, thankfully, hadn't gone bad yet. "That idiot! I told him not to go to the forbidden forest! Quickly, take this medicine to him! It is the strongest I've ever made." The old hag handed me the medicine. We left the shop and Kakariko and we were still arguing about the Picori.

"As I was saying, our most notable ancestors came from an island in the sky!" I practically screamed at him as we slowly made our way through Kokiri Forest and to the same clearing in the Lost Woods.

"If that truly happened, then shouldn't we have written records of that!" He yelled, face red with anger.

"Oh yeah? What if we were, I don't know, too busy repopulating the surface? Ever thought of that genius?" I growled.

"Oh? Are you looking for that guy again? I think he got lost and turned into a stalfos. Just give me the medicine that was made out of a mushroom from this area and I'll give you his saw.” I gave Fado the medicine and she gave me the guy's saw.

"Thank you."

"Didn't you already say that there were settlements there before they went back to the surface. Then why did they have to create a new one? Can you answer that?" Sheik spat in my face.

"I told you, they were monster-infested ancient ruins or ancient settlements! How can you settle into something that will probably collapse with you in it!"

"Well, if they were already in a peaceful area, why go to somewhere like the surface?"

"That was the goddess Hylia's initial intentions and plans for our destiny! She sent our ancestor's ancestors up in order to keep them from getting completely wiped out by the Demon King!"

"Now, you're clearly contradicting yourself!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!" We continued yelling and our argument, once we let the Kokiri Forest, escalated into wrestling on the dirt path. We didn't leave for Gerudo Valley until morning.

When we woke up the morning after our fight, we refused to speak and only glared at each other as Sheik walked and I rode Epona all the way to Gerudo Valley. Once there, I had Epona jump over the broken bridge at a full gallop. We successfully got to the other side and Sheik impatiently tapped his foot. I dismounted and turned towards him, pulled down my left under-eye area, and stuck out my tongue. What little of his face I could see turned pure red in anger and I felt so fulfilled and accomplished just by doing that. I walked over to the carpenter and held out the saw.

"Hey--that saw! It's mine! But… I thought that I left that saw with my old lady… oh well…. My Biggoron tool broke, so I was going to Goron City to get it repaired," he said while taking the saw out of hand, "Thanks, kid! I'm sorry I can't give you something as good in return, but… take this anyway!" He handed me the broken Biggoron sword (knife).

I walked away, remounted Epona and had her leap over the chasm. I stopped Epona right next to Sheik and looked down at him with a triumphant smirk.

Sheik, for the first time that day said, "Good job, hero, but you should always be wary of your surroundings." I gave him an odd look and he promptly slapped Epona's flank, causing her to charge forward and almost knocking me off.

"AAAAH!" I yelled out in panic.

"Hey, Sheik," I asked while we climbed out of Death Mountain Crater, "why were we fighting in the first place?"

"You said that I was just as annoying as Ruto," he said and then let out out an angry puff of air.

"I said that you were about as annoying as Ruto."

"Oh? Is that so?"

"If you have a problem with that, then just leave. I would honestly prefer if you just left me alone."

Navi flew out from under my hat. "Um… Link doesn't actually mean that… right Link?" she said, trying to reassure him.

"No, I meant everything that I said," I told him with a shit-eating grin on my face.

"Alright then… goodbye, hero," he said while walking away from me. I turned away from him and heard the snap of the deku nut as I kept on walking away.

When I stood in front of a huge Goron as he woke up. He stood in front of me and started rubbing his eyes. I showed him the broken sword.

"I can fix that, but because of the eruption yesterday, I can't see. Could you go get me some eye drops?"

I rolled my eyes, not that he would have noticed it, and nodded my head. He took the broken sword and handed me a piece of paper that had a prescription on it. Leaving Death Mountain and Kakariko, I mounted Epona and headed to Zora's Domain via Zora River. Once there, I entered the King's Throne Room and showed him the prescription.

"Here, take the ingredients over to the doctor in the Lakeside Laboratory while they are still fresh," he said while tossing an eyeball frog at me, which I barely caught.

I quickly left Zora's Domain and Zora's River and got Epona to take me to Lake Hylia. I entered the doc's lab and handed him the frog. He took it. "Mm… I haven't seen eyeball frogs like this since Zora's froze over..."

"It's for Biggoron's eye drops."

"Oh! Over course." He quickly made it and handed it to me. "Take these to him before it expires." I charged out the door, got on Epona and got her over to Kakariko, dismounted, ran through the village and all the way up Death Mountain, and handed the eye drops to Biggoron.

"Thank you, Brother!" He said and put the eye drops in, causing an echo to be heard all across Death Mountain. "Here," he handed me a receipt, "come back in three days and I'll have your sword ready."

I, being the impatient person that I am, played the sun song five times and talked to him again while handing him my receipt. "Here is your sword, it is my finest work yet."

He handed me the sword and I equipped it in place of the Master Sword. "I definitely need a drink after all of this," I vowed and continued my original journey as I played the Serenade of Water.

I stood on the warp pad in Lake Hylia. I ruffled my hair and, with my Zora Tunic on, waded into the water. I swam over to the entrance of Water Temple and used my iron boots to sink down far enough to hit the ground and use my hookshot to open the entrance. I entered and took off my iron boots, rising to the surface of the water. "I have a feeling that this is going to be rage inducing." I, by pure instinct, jumped into the water and sunk to the bottom.

I entered a room and found… Ruto. "Link?!" she exclaimed and pulled me into a hug. "I never forgot the vows we made to each other seven years ago! You're a terrible man to have kept me waiting for these seven long years…" It felt like the room had dropped a few degrees as she let go of me and I took a few steps away. "But now is not the time to talk about love..." I, mentally, let out a sigh of relief. "Right now, as a request from your wife," I cringed when she used that word "You have to help me destroy the evil monster in the temple, OK?" She pressured me.

"Fine." She, with a satisfied smile, left the area. "I really don't like women in that way, especially if they're like her. However, guys, like that guy in black, are the best!" I made an oddly masculine pose and a very charismatic smile.

"So… Link… you're gay?" Navi asked while, somehow, not drowning.

"No… of course I’m not gay--Of course I’m gay! It took you this long to notice?"

“... I can’t help you with that, but I recommend that you stay away from that guy in black.”

“Could you stop saying that? He’s been helping me a lot and you don’t complain when Sheik helps me. I think that you’re just biased.” I mini-ranted as I got my ocarina out and lowered the water level. I ignored the door right next to me and dropped down through the hole in the floor. I solved the torch puzzle and went through the door. I defeated the enemies in the room which resulted in a small chest appearing in the centre of the room. Duh duh duh DUH!!! I got a small key. I walked out of the room as it locked itself again. I trotted over to a block in the wall and pushed it and I went into the next area. I went through more water and hit a switch with my sword. I water geyser appeared and I used it to cross to the other side of the room and opened the door that was there. I dropped down into more water and noticed a barred gate in front of me. I turned around and hit a switch, that was not very well hidden in a statue's mouth, and the gate opened. I swam through, got a small key, and went back.

"Hey! Link! What do you think of this temple so far?" Navi asked as I went back to the main room of the dungeon.

"It is like all of the others: Absolute shit and I never want to come back," I growled as I unlocked the centre room using a small key.

"What if Ruto stays here?"

I changed the water level and said, "Then thank the goddesses for sparing my life and what little is left of my mental stability."

I entered the area below the floating block and fought the enemies and got a small key. "Don't you think that's a bit mean?"

"Her mental health is worse than mine and I'll bet you that she's gone through less than I have," I told as I back-tracked and got another small key.

"Point taken," she nodded as I unlocked a door and walked in. I used the geyser to get me up to the next floor, went through the door, and played the song that doesn't make the heart soar. The water level raised it to its highest. I opened the next locked door. When Navi and I entered the room, I groaned when I noticed the moving pillars. She looked around to figure out to get to the other side of the room. When she came back, I bit my lip, as I already knew the answer to my own question.

“You're going to have to use the hookshot on those moving pillars if you want to go any farther,” she explained.

“Great….” I sighed. “Let's get this over with. I have a feeling that the item we need in behind that door,” I said as I pulled out my hookshot from my item pocket and slid down to the moving pillar below us. Aiming my shots at the targets, I pulled myself onto the pillars above me as fast as I could to reach the door before I could fall down the dark hole. Once I got to it, I used the key I found and used it to unlock the chain that was barring it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, after this point, there might be delays in my updates for this since Pocket Mochi97 and I have some parts that we haven't written or edited yet. We've written up to chapter 10, but we need to edit some stuff in that chapter and we need to work on all of chapter 11. I'm also going to be deathly busy for a while. However, during that time, I might start posting the French translation of this fanfic.


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